For the recovery.
Forcing myself to recall what happened for the past few days.

There was the maths quiz yesterday, hope that I'll be able to fair well.

Let's talk about thursday, we had pe, Mr Satwant wanted us to jog so he brought us to the nearby park. We were running the sixth round when it started drizzling, then quite a heavy downpour. When we realised that it was drizzling, we continued jogging, that was the only way as we have to get back to him. But drizzling soon became heavy downpour, then we have to speed up. For most of my friends, we were drenched. We went to the void deck of the HDB flats for shelter. The teacher wanted to speak to us, and at the same time, we could rest. But after that, we ran back to school. We went to the canteen, then to the foyer. I saw some of the Indian guys there, seen them lots of times and remember them. I was like feeling kinda awkward and shy, because I nearly fell down in front of them once. My friends have taken all the four seats, so I had to remain standing. For a few times, I looked at them, and saw one of them also looking at me. A few moments later, Jasmine and Jacie were heading to their lockers, so there were seats available, then I immediately sat down. I looked at him again, guess what he was doing? He was looking at his shoes. I was like giggling to myself as I didn't expect that. Few seconds later, I looked again, I can't help it, I just felt very curious. Then he somehow was like looking at me expressionless. I looked at him without any expressions too. After that, he was talking to his friend, a pity I couldn't understand. I just hope that he wasn't saying"her hair is in a mess."

I wished my classmate happy birthday today in msn. His birthday was a few days ago, I didn't have time to wish him so I asked him" is your birthday on ...?" He said"over already." Then I said" I didn't have time to login on that day, can wish now or not?" He said"can, lol." I really wished him, feeling so silly after that.

Time management
There are so many homework, and projects coming soon. I haven't been revising my work for the past few days, been rather busy with my homework. I didn't really have the time to revise, something is wrong with my time management, I guess? There must be a way to solve this! My mom said that I have to get at least the third place in my class to get the thing which I requested. Well, I will do my best, if I really make it, then I can have that! If not, then it's too bad. I think this year, it won't be so easy for me to score and top the class, I don't mean that it was easy last year. This year will be the streaming year, and I think my classmates will study and go for it, so that means it will be a bad news for me. I must achieve what I desire! Time for a change in my time management, I must revise.

I went for the cca orientation last friday, I thought it would be a bored one. But it ended up being a great one, I talked to some of my seniors, they are so friendly. And some friends from other classes also chatted with me, we had fun together. I was laughing non-stop, I was there to help with yec, to introduce yec to the parents. I was so nervous before it started, when I saw the parents just in front of me, my heart was thumping so quickly However, I realised that I could acually do it! Some sentences were repeated several times"we go for IKEA sales, participated in Valentine's sale, teachers' day sale, and so on." Some of them asked" will you all have training?" I answered" we have external and internal trainings." That's what the teacher told us. Once, I was talking to a friend, then a parent came up to me and asked"what activities are there?" My mind was blank, I said"erm..erm..Ike.." Then a senior interrupted and helped me continued. Another one, a parent was like asking questions, and one of my seniors was answering her questions, I joined in, I said" we will be able to learn some speaking skills." She asked"what kinds of speaking skills?" I didn't expect her to ask that, so I cracked my brain on the spot, and answered" we will be able to speak with convidence." I pronounced'confidence' wrongly, I said'convidence' but luckily, it isn't that obvious, they sound alike. I knew that I pronounced wrongly, but I still smiled at her, appearing that nothing went wrong. I love this!

Alright, friends, stay happy!

The hurt.
I was quite busy for the past few days. I'll just write a short one.

He is cruel, I feel so hurt after checking something. I told myself"don't cry." I hope that I would never get to see him again. Perhaps he didn't know that I already have feelings for him, I was so cold towards him last year. Actually, before I check anything, somehow, I've already know what I would see, because I know that he isn't a person who remains. But I thought a miracle would happen. Jasmine told me that she saw him yesterday, I was so happy. That tells me that he is okay.

Which brings back fond memories of ex-merahans.
The teachers finally distributed the school magazines to us! I missed all those who have sat for the o'levels last year. When I got home, I started flipping from page to page to see the faces. There are some baby photos of those from sec four last year. So adorable! I compared their baby faces with their current looks, haha. I recalled the Graduation Ceremony, and I thought to myself" it's time to forget, do you think that anyone will remember you?" The canteen is so empty, the mass jog will be a bored one, the rice is tasteless.

I wonder how I will fare for this year, I'm not aiming to beat anyone, honestly. I hope that this year will end soon and I also hope that it will end slower. End quickly because I can't stand the sadness which I'm feeling now. End slower because I want to have more time with my classmates. I told myself" even a stranger wants you to study hard and score, a schoolmate whom you don't know of course will also hope that you could do that." I used that to always tell myself to stop thinking, and get on with my work. Hope that they will pass with flying colours to enter polytechnics. I'm losing concentration, alot. But still, I will try my best.

The start of my missing.
Yesterday, it was quite a bored day, mainly on speeches. My new form teacher, Mrs Chan is a very nice lady. I couldn't find the excitement, although I get to see all my classmates again, it's because of.. And school hours, mass jog, recess time had changed. For Monday and Tuesday, we will be dismiss at 2pm, Wednesday and Thursday, we will be dismiss at 1pm, Friday, we will be dismiss at 12.30pm. Mr Satwant announced that mass jog will be changed slightly, level by level, that means on a particular day, sec ones will run.Another day, sec twos will run and so on to prevent congestion. We used to run with another level, but now, a little bored. Recess time changed, they used to let us all go for recess together. But now, they said that since the seniors like cutting queues, they will put sec threes and fours together for recess and sec ones and twos for recess and that can also save the time spent on queueing up. What's the difference? there are still lots of people in the canteen, although the queues have cut short but does that mean anything? Actually, I like the idea of together going for recess, it's like all schoolmates staying together, eating together but now we are being separated, that means that we won't know each other that well.

Today actually we have agreed on going to Bukit Merah Central together, but after we finished our lunch in school, Jasmine told Xinyi and I to run, while Jacie isn't looking. We started running, I said" why? I thought we'll be going together?it's bad to leave her behind." But my legs carried on going. Of course I know that it's kinda wrong, to leave someone behind, it's so sad. They don't seem to want her coming along, we were so surprised when she didn't call us. I'm so mean, I did that to her, she must be sad and hurt now. I can't imagine the sadness, she will feel that no one welcomes her.

I didn't forget him, it's so empty without him around. I wonder how he has been doing, has he been flirting again? He's my crush, I didn't see him for about two months plus already, when will he come and visit the school teachers? He must have forgotten me although he somehow tried to befriend me last year. I can't see him during recess or mass jog anymore.