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6/29/2006
Left or right?
First swimming lesson today, I am a beginner..lol.The coach taught us the basic skills, stretched out both arms,head in the water,and then legs kicking.I did what I was told, but still cannot move.. and then my fren taught me, finally, I saw a little bit of improvement.Although its still very slow..and the coach told us to stretched out our both arms,left hand under right hand, and I was confused from right and left, I looked at my both arms..and the coach saw me..he said" aiyo, you don't know which is your right hand and your left hand?" Finally, I got it right, but I saw the fren beside me placing it the opposite way, and I changed, then the coach said" you really don't know?" then I looked at my fren and said"you la, I put wrongly again,hahaha."I must have really irritated the coach.

~ { 6/29/2006 10:08:00 PM }
Anywhere you are;
Its fated..
If I did not remember wrongly, the one who asked me if she should join the group of three again sat on my right on the first day of school and the one who sometimes increased the papers from one to five sat on my left on the first day of school.. This is fated, and I am fated to be sad for so many months, I didn't expect them to be with me like this now, and never did I expect tt things would turn out like this..people do not know tt we are in this state now except for my best frens and the three of them and you.Everything looks alright, but actually, all the troubles were hidden. Today, our teacher told us to form a group of four, and she said tt we are not supposed to be with our very best frens, so one of my current close frens joined another group, two stayed with me, actually, only one should stay with me in a group, however, all the groups are formed and its left with her, so, one of my frens suggested letting her join our group.I don't mind actually..

~ { 6/29/2006 09:41:00 PM }
Anywhere you are;
my answer was"let nature take its course."
Recently, my fren ask me"should I join into the group of three again?"and my answer was "let nature take its course."She asked me "what do you mean?" I said tt if we are fated to be in a group, we will be, if we are not, so let it be.. I have made a promise to myself tt I would not hate anyone unless necessary.Luckily, to me, all are still frens. One hurt me with her words before, so let it be, if she wants to say anything, its up to her, and I will either listen or ignore..I wanted to ignore some of my frens on the first day.But, I can't, the moment we saw each other, the moment we started saying 'hi', the moment we started our conversations, I've dropped the idea..It all depends on fate, any unpredictable events might just take place, maybe we will just end up separated, maybe we will end up being best frens..She asked me"who are your best frens?" I hesitated and then I said"Winnie,Jillian,Ally and some other of my frens."(not in order) Then I continued saying tt I've only named the names of my primary school best frens..(now still are best frens) And she told me to name the best frens I've in this school. I said tt I don't wish to name anyone, and she said tt even if I don't name them, she know who they are..Sometimes, there are no problems at all till a question popped up.And you don't even know if the frens whom you really regard as frens think like how you think too..They can just turn their back on you anytime..use you anytime, criticise you anytime,agitate you anytime..Its up to them.

~ { 6/29/2006 08:58:00 PM }
Anywhere you are;

6/24/2006
School..
The June Holidays will be over soon..I feel so sad. Thinking of facing tests and problems again will make me feel so tired. I'm so afraid to face problems, really..after being "tortured" for at least five months.Its enough for me! Afraid to face a few of my frens, the ones who always created chances for me to feel sad and angry.Yeah, I cried once for tt. Isn't tt stupid? I felt so hurt, haha..But now, its over.I have to tell myself tt the past is the past, everything is alright now..I really hope tt everything will be fine, no more problems..The kind of life I've been leading with my sec sch close frens are undescribable..Things are beyond my control.. I can't foresee the future, tt is why I am feeling more and more scared..!I want myself to be happy in school!

~ { 6/24/2006 10:14:00 PM }
Anywhere you are;

6/22/2006
Appreciate..
The first mistake tt I've made this year is making frens with three of my current frens. But I didn't regret for knowing one of them..Things have changed..since this year.I've been too naive.. i tot things would be like before..I tot ppl will be all friendly and not mean. One said tt I'm her best fren in sec sch, but is tt true? Has she been using me all along? Often she told me to carry the things for her..Fine,I did..I don't mind if she has to do something, but after sometime when I got to know her better, I realise tt I'm like a slave to her,not a best fren..even when she is not doing anything, she will also ask me to carry the books for her..I told her to carry it by herself and her reply to me was"aiya, nvm, very fast one,we are going into the homeroom in a while."Her drawing is very nice, so sometimes, I will ask her to draw me something, she told me to provide the paper, okay, tt I don't mind, but from one piece of paper,she increased it to five! At first, I tot this will be the first and last time, never did I expect tt there are second, third and fourth times,hey, and why am I so stupid?I can't believe it! why did I still provide her with the papers?! If I am the past "me", I would have shouted at her..Once or twice, after she drank a cup of drink, she would asked me to throw it for her, and the bin is so near to her, but I ended up being the one throwing.Second fren did this to me too once..and she said"out of the three of us,the first fren,her and me, I am the one who is the easiest to be bullied." Yeah, I am stupid, I am silly to throw the cups away for them, to carry the books for her..The third fren of mine once criticised my handphone pouch, saying tt it stinks.. when its not.. she is angry because of something..okay, I can't blame her.Well, and these are a few examples only.. I tried to change my temper, my attitude, I tried to do everything..I tried to tolerate, I tried to be more generous, but did they realise tt? did they appreciate tt? Even if they don't know tt I am trying to do all these, they should appreciate..not to take me for granted.Agitating me with your words doesn't do any good.I tried to calm myself down when I'm angry, reason is because I don't want any regrets again, I want to treasure this frenship..and for the past six months, these are the memories I have.They didn't perish..should I feel sad for myself? should I hate them? No, I won't hate anyone!In the past, when I'm angry, I'll just shout at my frens, thats taking them for granted.. I didn't want to repeat these mistakes again..You can say tt its my choice tt I give in to them,I can stop giving in to them too..But I can't bring myself to..If I don't give in, they don't give in too, what will happen?Its sad when everything is still like this despite the efforts you put in to enable tt this frenship last longer.. its sad.Tired of all these because they don't seem to understand..On the other hand,I would like to thank them for letting me to have experiences of being sad,hurt,angry,happy,everything..and sadness,hurt and anger are the most frequent ones..I want to thank them for making me realise tt life can be so realistic..I mean it.

~ { 6/22/2006 09:59:00 PM }
Anywhere you are;

6/19/2006
Milk doesn't taste tt bad afterall..
Since the day the can of Milo in my house is empty..I started drinking a bottle of water everyday in the morning till yesterday.Today, my Mom told me to drink something, and I said tt there is nothing i can drink, and she told me to drink a cup of milk..then I told her tt a cup of milk is so disgusting, and she told me to drink half a cup of milk, and i said"that is even worse!"Then she said"then i tink u shuld drink a cup of milk instead!"Well, guess wad?I said"Okay,FINE!"I dislike the smell and taste of the milk ever since of one incident..I will go to tt later.. I tasted the milk again and again,again and again.."Eek" is the only word I have in mind..But, after tasting the milk several times, I realised tt its not as disgusting as wad i tink..
I love drinking milk alot since young, after a bottle of milk, I will tell my parents to prepare another bottle of milk for me, and its not just once, its like the whole day..However,ever since one incident, I didn't dare to taste the milk again.. When I was about Primary one or two, my neighbour asked my brothers and I if we wanted to go to the playground and play with their kids..I was drinking milk tt time, and I felt so excited when i heard tt..and i began to hurry..I downed the milk as fast as I could..and the next thing i noe is tt I vomited..vomited the milk back into my cup again..The sight and smell of it were really terrible..However, on school days, in the mornings, my Mom would prepare a mixture of Milo and Milk for me..

~ { 6/19/2006 04:30:00 PM }
Anywhere you are;