Back..
I don't know if I should hate or what? If he really did tt thing, even if I hate him, this doesn't change the fact. So, maybe I should forget.Jasmine, you might think tt I am mad.But, it's true tt even if I hate him, the fact is still there. As wad you said, like fate decides.Okay, let the fate decides.

He smiled at me yesterday I guess.When I walked out of the hall, his friend was standing on the left hand side and he was standing on the right hand side.I saw him but continued walking.He lowered his head a little and somehow smiled I guess.I just looked at him blankly, and I didn't know tt I had quicken my pace till my friend asked me why I walk so quickly. I looked into his eyes, seriously.If I am not wrong, he should be looking at me. Now, focus on exam.

Not anymore..
I had seen him during recess time.Today, Jasmine told me something about him which she had found out. It's disgusting.I couldn't believe it, I was climbing the stairs then she told me.My heart suddenly thumped very fast and I had difficulty breathing when I heard tt.I felt so disappointed, sad, and angry. I started hating him, and I don't wish to see him again. If he didn't do tt, we can be friends.But, if he really did tt, it's impossible. I would not want to be his friend again. I hate him. I couldn't believe it. After second thought, I decided to stop hating him so as to save my energy.He has his own freedom and he is not related to me, why should I care so much? I don't want to know the answers anymore, it's pointless. Pervert. This is the first time, I hate a guy.Just because I had fallen for him and then realised tt he is worse than I thought. He is a bad guy, who doesn't know the values in life. I don't know if what Jasmine told me is true. But I am really angry with him. Leave me alone please? If he really did tt, nothing he do will reverse the time. Why must he do tt? Isn't tt disgusting? Isn't tt breaking the..? Isn't tt wrong? What is really wrong with him? Wth. Anyway, I don't know him. He made me felt really down just now, when Jasmine told me wad she heard.Like everything just crashed down on me. Now, in the process of recovering and forgetting. Not worth my concern, time. If he really did tt, nothing he do will change the past, neither can he change anything.

If only..
If only you hadn't made me notice you.

I chatted with Jasmine on the phone for 1 hour plus. Actually, I was feeling alright when she called me and talked about all those.But it's okay. She asked me questions, I feel tt she is weird, she asked me questions which I don't know. Haha, anyway, had a great time chatting with her. Deep in my heart, I know tt he is not a guy who is obedient, but I simply just deceive myself.When Jasmine persuaded me to give up, I answered her with ten sentences. If only I hadn't notice him, I would not be like this.If only he at least say something, I would feel shy but happy.

Tell me the answers which I want..
I didn't see him today.I was told by Jasmine tt he is not a good guy.And I feel really sad, and I began wondering if he wants to be our friend, if he is sincere about it.Jasmine told me tt if he looked at me, if he has really fallen for.. if since the past months, he has been noticing me.He would most likely be sincere.Most likely, he would not joke around, as he seems to be trying to get my notice, several times. Then can't he come straight? Instead of dragging time? If I have misunderstood everything, then it's okay, I will take this as a lesson. I kept on looking at my phone.Hoping tt I would receive messages. So sad. He made me feel really.. I am at a loss of what to do. Although Jasmine kept on saying tt he is a bad guy, I seem to be shielding him. Jasmine told me to give up before I sink even deeper, and I was like..so sad. She said tt maybe he is sincere but maybe after I became his friend, he would then forget about everything, provided tt he wants to be our friend.Or maybe if I have misunderstood everything.

Timing..
Today I never went for swimming, my lie was real.And wad I hoped for came true.He really came to the library! Jasmine and I went to the restroom and when we were back, walking towards the library, we saw one of his friends and him.He went into the library, and his friend was about to walk to the study corner, when he turned and saw us.We walked into the library and saw him.Then we pretended we didn't see anything.I walked past him, after a while, he sat on a chair reading something, then I said"hmm..good, read more, better." We walked past him again, and he finally turned and looked at us and then I think he saw Jasmine looking at him.He went back to his newspaper.After a second or so, he looked again, I was told by Jasmine, and he went back to his newspaper again.I didn't dare to look at him, I just walked straight, aimlessly.Actually, trying to bring out courage to at least say hi.He and his friend sat separately, maybe because they know the reason or something. At 1.30pm, we were dismissed, and Jasmine and I went to the canteen, I was hoping tt they would head to the canteen too.After I placed my bag on the bench, I took out my handphone and walked to somewhere else to call my Dad.I saw them walking to the canteen, I quickly walked to be hidden. After the call, I realised tt Jasmine was looking for me for her two chicken wings as I promised her tt I would give her a treat.We were walking to the stall when I saw him walking in front of us, walking from the left to the right, and then after I past him, he walked again from the right to the left. In the morning, I saw him eat a fruit, outside the hall.I didn't mean to look at everything he did.

Lost again..
Finally saw him today. My PE teacher told us to take our heights and weights outside the hall which was somewhere near him. Of course we have to take out our shoes, after the height measurement, I wore the shoes again, and then off again, as I was told by my friends that we were supposed to take our weights too.But I looked at the clock, and then I wore again. Just as I was standing up, I looked around.I saw him, he was like looking at me too.I looked at him for a few seconds, and then looked for my friends. And during recess, Jasmine and I were in the canteen.We saw one of his friends washing his hands.And Jasmine said"why don't we go and say hi now?"I hesitated, shy.Then he washed his hands really long, I thought for quite a while, when I decided to, he walked away. And I saw him, walking on a bench. I had actually viewed his profile in friendster, I was hoping tt he would see the people who viewed him and then add me. Actually, I hope tt I will have more times being able to see him.And I want him to know tt I am looking at him. I have promised Jasmine tt I would not hesitate about saying hi to any of them.

Without..
Yesterday and today, I didn't get to see him, so sad..And his O level examinations are around the corner.I thought I can see him during recess, but I didn't get to see him.In one of the posts, I said about his friend saying"hi", but I didn't reply. I am waiting for his friend to say another "hi", Jasmine said tt since they had said hi to me before, then I should be the next one taking initiative, I couldn't. What if he says"go away la!I don't want to be your friend." Then it's very sad. And if he says "okay, sure." I would be so happy.No chance.Everytime I go to the canteen, I would be hoping tt he would be there, but he is not there.Jasmine said maybe that time his friend said"hi" because he told him to, so tt we could become friends and then know each other better.But it couldn't be, nothing good about me. For everyones' sake, I would study hard, of course for his sake too. If he really...me, then I think he would be hoping tt I would study hard too.If he don't...me, then I think he would still hope tt I would study hard.Next year, I wouldn't be able to see him anymore, unless we become friends. I would be thinking aimlessly of him then, a dream which would never be true. Really hopes tt he..really...me. Talk to me, befriend me..please? I would pretend to look around when I am in the canteen, but actually I am searching for him, at least be friends, I would be happy.You are part of my motivation, who pushes me forward, the one who can determine a smile or a sad face.

Distractions..
I went to the school party yesterday.It ended at around 9.30pm, and it was quite fun, haha. People were dressed smartly, and they were dancing.Only sec ones to sec threes were at the party whereas Sec four students were not allowed.

Am I missing him? It couldn't be! But at times.. I do. How could he distract me?! After a conversation with jasmine on the phone, I began telling myself"maybe he is not as good as wad I thought." Yup, even if he is like tt, I wouldn't be surprise. The happenings were on my mind everyday, I thought through and through although I don't want to. The most funniest one was the one which I mentioned in one of the posts, I told Jasmine"I don't feel like eating anymore, I don't have any appetite."They were looking at us, how could I eat like tt?But I still force myself. Another one was when Jasmine and I were walking up the stairs to the YEC room at the third storey, when I was walking, through the so called windows, I saw the three of them at the fourth floor, looking at the YEC room if I am not wrong.Another one was mass jog, at first, we ran past them, and then at last, they ran past us, the guy said"WOOT!"This happened during the weeks of mass jog.Can he get out of my mind right now? I don't care about him or any of his friends anymore!! Anyway, I don't even know them.I don't know much about him, but see him everyday.I didn't dare to look at any of them, so scary..and it's like I think he has alot of friends.That time the one which happened in the canteen, his friends, malays, indians and chinese were looking.Alot..they were sitting on the bench and some on the table.I hope I didn't offend them..haha.Oh, another one was the one which happened during one of the drama lessons, it was held in the hall and I saw his friend and him walking into the hall, he looked rather weak, I mean he doesn't look well, and the next thing I saw was tt he was lying on the ground in pain, his friend helped him up.I was thinking"is he alright? why is he like tt?" I seem to see him almost everywhere, and when I couldn't for once or so, I would feel uneasy.How stupid I am?Fancy concerning about someone I don't know.

Guilt..
She gave me a card today, cool, I love the long passage which really ryhmes.But she wrote on friendship. She wrote about me and her, at first we promised to be friends forever, together forever.But now, it seems to be changing. And she cried today, I heard from other friends tt she said"I had enough!" Day by day, I realised tt the distance between me and her is drifting apart, and I don't really know her now as I don't know what she is thinking. Yesterday, she said Jacie regards me as her best friend, she regards me as her best friend, and Jasmine too.But I only regard Jasmine as my best friend. At first, it was merely a small problem.And we started not giving in to each other. We became criminals, who made her cry. She won.She must have really regard me as her best friend..otherwise she wouldn't feel so sad when she sees Jasmine and me together.I seem to have forgotten her, how cruel I am? She gave me a late birthday present, she drew winnie the pooh and folded hearts, I feel the efforts she put in.

We were all best friends You cried to sleep
but ended up being strangers I hate it
I don't know why I know how it feels
Of a small conflict You made used of me
I used to support you till the end I am not your slave
Used to give you advises I had enough
Cheered you up Chances were given
Always with you You simply didn't realise tt
Now things have changed What could I say?
as days pass by I am made a criminal
We all change A girl who makes you cry
You will never know My tears for myself seemed to have dried

Only words to say about these.
Today quarrelled with Jasmine.I admit tt I hadn't changed my bad temper to a good one, but I felt really angry when she said"don't follow me, you go with her lor,I don't want her to follow me." And ZIlin and her were like laughing, and I was sitting with Jacie.Jacie said"it looks like Jasmine and Zilin have reconciled."I said"oh, that's great !" I mean it. She said"then are you feeling sad or what?" I said"nope, I am happy for them, if they reconcile, they are happy, and I am also happy." And she said"so why are you not smiling?" I was fed up, and I said"when there is nothing for me to smile about, wad do you want me to do, can you just..?"I wanted to say" can you just shut up, leave me alone."And I stopped in time, if not, she would feel hurt.

Today after school, went to the canteen with Jasmine.When we arrived at the canteen, I noticed something.A group of boys were looking at us, I don't mean tt I'm pretty. I think there are other reasons. They were really looking at us, and I felt uneasy.After putting down our bags, we went on to buy our lunch, after tt, Jasmine walked past them, like they were invisible.Of course I have to walk past them too, and I was like pretending tt I hadn't noticed them.You know? I could feel tt they had turned their heads to look at us again, but I didn't looked back.We looked for a table, and I still saw them look at us, I forced myself to eat.I don't think Jasmine had noticed them, and actually I have seen them looking at us on almost all days.They are not perverts, but I think it's because of.. But anyway, it's impossible.One of them had tried saying "hi" when I was with Jacie few weeks or months ago.I didn't dare to reply them, so I pretended tt I didn't heard them, and continued walking.Then, I heard another guy saying to the guy who said"hi" to us,"you see?!told you." If there is another "hi", should I reply? Haha..like it's basic courtesy, and I would be rude if I don't reply.

Couldn't control.
Had Mass Jog today, I was already shouting to Jasmine"there are some problems with you today!"And so on.. I lost my temper not because of yesterday, but today.She said something, I don't understand.I said something, she don't understand.And I had no more patience.So, I did tt.Luckily, Jasmine wasn't a petty one, I did apologised to her several times.I find it really tough to communicate with her today.Truly sorry.

She did told me some things, which I find tt it was not very nice. She told me not to tell anyone else, well, I have to keep my promise.I don't know if she is sowing discord, anyway, one moment she gets along well with her, another moment, she told me about this and that. So, what does she mean exactly? I don't know and I don't wish to know !! And she told me tt I was demoted, from a best friend to a good friend.

Something happened in the English homeroom, the teacher arranged in such a way for today such tt two tables are joined together, and I had to sit with him, we practised a little bit of oral today and therefore, we have to read to each other.I placed my two arms on the table, the elbow resting on the table, and after I read, he actually meant to pat on my arms, but instead he..accidentally, placed his hand too close to..So disgusting, don't want to carry on.I wasn't a bit shocked, and after tt, I think he realised tt too.He began saying"erm..oh ya! I can't touch you.."And he used a pen to pat on my shoulders.

Didn't really have a chance to see him today, as only sec 1 students were running.Hmm..kind of not really used to it.Haha,but I did see him today, I guess.

Anger no more..
Today went back to school, quite happy.I could see everyone again, including those whom I don't know.Well, felt tired, I was having slight headache during lessons.And during Science lesson, Jacie was sitting beside me, and I noticed tt she was dozing off.I gave her a nudge, and she woke up immediately, with wide eyes.

Dealing with Science Project, sigh..we have to start on another part.Which is quite a rush, we have to plan everything, I don't know how to, seriously.And I am now my group's leader, actually, I didn't stepped out willingly, I mean shouldn't they give a try too?I couldn't cope, with no plannings, no time.

And I was actually angry with Jasmine today.I would sound stupid, during lunch time, we were heading to the canteen, everything was okay.But I soon realised tt Zilin and her started chatting and laughing and I was like.. a fool standing behind them, not knowing wad to say, and I wouldn't have the slightest intention of interrupting them, I just kept to myself, they went to queue up without me, of course that was okay, just tt I felt a bit not used to it.There is still Jacie, haha, I really realised tt she has understand wad all of us want from her, she really changed.The most interesting part was tt Jasmine and Zilin just walked past me, after buying the food, while Jacie and I were still queueing up.Not just tt, Jasmine walked past, it's okay.Do you know wad Zilin did?ZIlin walked past me with her eyes telling me"see? haha, I will let you have a taste of wad it's like being like this."And I was like.."grrrrr" inside, I turned to one side, made an angry expression, Jacie noticed tt, and I told her how I felt, and she said tt she could feel tt too.After tt, of course we have to sit down for lunch, Zilin told me to sit beside her, okay, that's okay.I sat beside her and she said"just now, Jasmine and I were just pretending, are you angry?"I said"nope." I don't know if she meant anything when walking past me, with the expression, after showing me tt expression, she turned her head to the "proper" position, like I am her enemy.But, my anger faded.Jacie said"even if you are angry, don't ever try interrupting them as they would hate you for that." I was really surprised for wad she said as I didn't expect tt.And Congratulations! Jacie, you have turned for the better.Haha, I mean it. I don't want to be petty anymore so I decided to change too.If you do wad you did today, it's okay with me, anger would fade.Today, I really closed one eye, trying to distract myself, trying not to see too much of wad they were doing.Jasmine, of course you have the freedom.I understand, but of course I know tt you want the truth, these are the truth.I mean you can choose wad you want to do, you don't have to give in to me just because you are worried tt I would be neglected or sad.I mean nothing, just the truth.I'm not good in expressing myself, but hope tt you can understand.

Not again?
Nothing much to talk about today. Last night, I didn't sleep well, I couldn't sleep. Don't think I was thinking about something.. I really couldn't sleep ! I was feeling very tired then but just couldn't sleep.

Just now, my Mom told me to bring her some hot water, and I sighed while forcing myself to do tt.When I was at the basin, she said" no need already." I saw her holding on to a cup of hot water.And I said"wah, so fast!" She said"if I were to depend on you, I don't know wad state I would be in now." Well, wad she said is a fact, I agree ! Lol, if you don't know me well enough, you wouldn't know tt I am really lazy and slow.And when I am in a good mood, I would really be happy.But, when I'm in a bad mood, then nothing would appease me, almost nothing.Except for..the things I like or love.

Well, going back to school soon.I don't know if I should be happy? Happy because I would be able to see my friends again ! Unhappy because exams are awaiting me, and scoldings, stress and all tt too. I have to wake up now ! And stop myself from daydreaming during lessons.

Might not be right
Jasmine.Make sure you really read through this post as I would test you.Muhahaha.

You talked about perverts right?Haha, you told me tt this would be an interesting one, well, it's true.I too find it interesting.The post which you created was really funny, made me laughed till mad.I mean it, actually how could you confirm if he was really looking at you? Hey, I could imagine, but you should describe his appearance, his facial expression and all tt.I want to imagine.But, it's okay, all which you said were enough to let me laugh.Erm.. actually not all are perverts, only some.If you said that it's all, then you mean all the guys in our school are..? Haha, but, I could understand you.When I saw the word 'chi ko pei', I stop reading tt post of yours, and started laughing inside and then finally laughed out loud. If you see tt Indian guy again, hmm.. if you want to, you could actually look at him in a weird way but run away if he chase after you, wanting to hit you, I wouldn't want you to end up in a hospital.Or maybe if you really sees saliva dripping from his mouth, you could lend him a tissue paper.You could try either one, or both if you wish to.And tell me wad happen next.Lalala.Don't tell your parents I taught you tt.=)

Pigs!
Jasmine, I don't know where to find the pig..But I don't think you need a similar one right?As long as there is a pig face, it should be alright.Haha.

I am going to try to shorten my story.My day is always so..like alot of things to talk about.
I chatted with Jasmine again, Jasmine.. I couldn't laugh loudly as my Dad was beside me, but I enjoyed your jokes alot.And sorry for my slow reactions.

Well, revised Mother Tongue, a little bit here and there.I repeated the songs again and again for about four hours, I don't know why but I just enjoy it and doesn't seem to get bored.Of course my brother was irritated by the music.And I finished the packet of sweets,the timing was just right.My Dad was going out, and I told him to buy me another packet.But after second thought after he left, I decided to sms him to tell him not to buy anything for me.Eating too many sweets isn't something good. right?But in the end, he still bought one packet for me as he thought tt it was my brother.I always wonder, there is something wrong with me.I dare to share saliva with my friends but not my family, isn't tt weird?I share saliva with my family when left with no choice, but with friends, it's anytime.

Don't ever..(re-edited)
Don't break your promise.You had agreed to tell me on your birthday.Jasmine!!Too late, you can't go back on your words.Hehe.

Lost sleep, not because of Jasmine, haha.I don't know why but I just know tt I couldn't let my mind relax.Slept at around 11 plus, but ended up sleeping at only around 12 plus I think.And I had dreams, and later on heard thunders and saw the flashings of lightnings.Frankly speaking, I am afraid, haha, it was loud and I didn't dare move myself, I hugged my pillow tight, I feared tt if I moved myself, there might be another thunder.Any idea wad I told myself?"calm down, calm down."Lol.First time round last night, my Mom covered me with a blanket, but I kicked it off after sometime, as I felt warm.Second time was when she entered my room again, she saw me not covered with blanket and decided to do tt again.This time, I decided not to kick the blanket off, instead I beared with the heat.I actually felt relieved tt I did tt, when it rained, as I wouldn't get up to cover myself with a blanket.I forced myself to sleep.Anyway, I woke up at around 11 today, but still restless.

My Mom woke me up, she told me to go out with Dad and her, to NTUC, ..and have lunch.My brothers were already in school for extra lessons.Anyway, they planned to pick them up after having lunch.And I sat on her bed after washing up.I just sat there, and I asked her"do you think I should go out?"And so on..bla bla bla.After much hesitation, I changed my mind and decided to go out, as I was told tt I wouldn't be able to eat my lunch till 4 plus if I don't go out.Not because they want to torture me, it was because they have to do other things before coming back.And I was irritated by my younger brother again, I was told to push the trolley, and he kicked the trolley, disturbed me, stepped on my slippers, and tried tripping me.I told him patiently not to do tt, and he just..Well, recently, I have been giving in to him, telling him patiently not to do this and that before I really blow my top.Too bad, he is just too stubborn.And my Mom always told me to keep an eye on the trolley, push the trolley, I complained to her about my younger brother, but she just walked away to buy other groceries.Then I turned to my brother, he was smiling at me.Wad could I do?I could only stare at him.A lady saw him really playful, and she placed her hand on my shoulders, saying"it's okay, just give in to him."

My Mom told me to help her with her hair.I mean she has dry skin, so she told me to help her with her hair.And I refused to, she asked for several times, but I still refused.And just now, I wanted to eat the peanuts which she has bought, and she said"no, don't touch it."And I asked her why, and she said"it belongs to me."Then, my younger brother said"who asked you to refuse to help her?"And I said"I wouldn't help that kind of person."I said tt in a fit of anger.I have my own mind, can't I even say no?Why?Sometimes, I really don't know wad to tell her, or how to vent my anger, she really doesn't understands me.I watched a show earlier on, and an actress in the show said tt a son is always better than a daughter, parents could rely on their sons in future.And I was like.."sigh.. is tt true?a daughter isn't good at all?how come?am I really tt useless in my mom's eyes?Shouldn't be here at all, just an extra here."Well, my Dad is really nice, he always gives in to me, and always tries to help me, and buys me snacks.Like he really understands me.He is not at all bias, I am not saying tt my Mom is bias, I just mean tt they should be like this.And some incidents or should I say some words which my Mom said to me in the past somehow hurt me, and made me lose confidence, made me doubt my own abilities, made me feel hurt.Example, I didn't even dare to sing in front of her, I fear tt she might bring me down.I listened to music and sang to myself, or even sang in my heart so tt she wouldn't hear me.So tt she wouldn't say something not very nice and made me feel sad, and in the end, I would be crying to myself to sleep.I started loving music as I realised tt music is the one which understands me.I don't dare to sing in front of her..I don't dare..really don't dare.If people comment about tt, I would feel sad but if compared to my mom's comments, I would feel even hurt.From the year she said tt, I remembered tt sentence till now.I always tell myself to achieve better results in school, to show her tt I am not tt useless, to prove to her tt I could be good in something.But, I just feel tt she thinks I am still tt useless.

Tell you not..(added)
Today chatted with Jasmine on the phone for about half an hour, I ended the conversation.We had so much fun chatting with each other, due to our slow reactions.My voice sounded weird as I just woke up, lol.(I am a lazy girl)I told her to tell me her secret, she at first said tt she couldn't reveal anything to me.I "negotiated" with her, and then she said tt she would tell me when her birthday arrives.So sad..Jasmine, how could you make me lose sleep?As you know, I am very curious, and now I only know one quarter of the beginning only, and you only told her.I understand. I really understand.You just have to keep your promise to tell me when your birthday arrives.I would be looking forward to chat with you again, hehehe.

Anyway, after reading Jasmine's blog, I felt kind of happy.She said tt she missed me, lol, we are not les.Actually, I do miss the fun times.I missed her funny expressions, haha.Again, I am not a les.When I was chatting with her over the phone earlier on, I was angry with her for not telling me, and there was only silence, and she changed her tone of speaking, to a way which cheered me up.Recalling again, I was holding my own cup of drink and another cup which belonged to Jasmine, then her hand was full of things, and she drank the drink while I was holding the cup for her, and after tt, she fed me a snack, lol.She really made me laughed alot, except the pencil box thingy.Hope to intro her to my best friends in future.Haha.Lalala.Okay.

Anyway, started missing everyone in school.And..really realised something, some of my friends in MSN never talk to me already, those who chatted with me in the past whom I considered maybe they could be my true friends in future.Don't tell me I offended them again.Couldn't be.Lol.

Earlier on, afternoon.I was doing my work, and revising a bit here and there.Well, it's on Maths, anyway, I think I cracked my brain too much and faced too many sums continuously, for about three hours to four hours?I didn't bother to stop in the way, as I know tt if I do so, I wouldn't be able to concentrate.I turned on the music and ate sweets, haha.That's the only way to prevent me from dozing off.A packet of sweets, I realised tt I am left with only half a packet of it when I checked it earlier on.And the music, I repeated it again and again.I enjoyed it.And I tried the sums again and again, hoping tt I would be able to solve all of them.Although I know tt that's impossible.I really didn't dozed off.But, realised tt I was perspiring cold sweat till just now.Anyway, I would be okay after today.Now, the most important thing is to watch television later!Okay, I know I had became a little bit mad.

Oh.. I forgot to talk about the teachers' day cards which I made for some of the teachers,I love one of the cards alot, I actually wanted to draw fire, in the end, it looked like an onion, could you imagine? That was the card which I made for my Maths Teacher.And that was the most "creative" artwork which I have ever done.You would go speechless if you see my drawing.But don't puke.

Coz you are my best fren..
Jasmine, you better tell me your secret or else, you will get it from me.I want to know, I wouldn't tell anyone, sigh..provided tt you trust me.If you don't trust me, you wouldn't want to tell me.

Jillian, I finally understand why.Sorry for not understanding you tt day.Now, I understood everything.Please don't bother about wad tt person told you as those were all rubbish, RUBBISH!Don't fall for her trick.Come to us whom you considered your true friends to tell us your problems, we would understand you.In our eyes, you are perfect, almost perfect.Don't give a damn to wad she said.If you are feeling down or anything, just come straight to us.We are in different classes now, but that doesn't matters.Our friendship hasn't change right?I know tt it's easy to say all this, but when it comes to me myself who is in this situation, I wouldn't know wad to do.But as your best fren, these are wad I want to say as I mean it.Trust me, who doesn't have weaknesses?I have countless of them.Tons of people hate me, I just don't know tt, but that's for sure.These are all parts and parcels in life.I couldn't possibly become perfect just to suit to their expectations.Therefore,I wish to tell you tt we are still here for you, anytime.And ignore those rubbish, as rubbish would always be rubbish.Hope tt you understand me.

Best frens forever, even if you are unwilling to be.You would still be one.

I had deams.Anyway, those dreams wouldn't come true.I wouldn't be looking forward to meeting with a coincidence again, as that was just to corrupt my mind.Corrupt?So serious?Those were only coincidences which distracted me.Distractions which were avoidable, should be avoided.

Recalling
Yesterday, I thought about everything which happened lately and yesterday, the events which took place in the day.I realised tt I am far too petty.And, I am missing something,I couldn't take tt thing off my mind.I started realising tt.I started missing the coincidences, missing the look, missing the way, missing everything.Just kidding.Even me myself doesn't know wad I am thinking now, lots of things are running in my mind, like they couldn't be forgotten, like they had became a part of me.Okay, spouting nonsense now.I really don't know.

I broke the umbrella today, it's exaggerating but it's true.Actually I didn't really broke it by myself, it's with the help of my brother, he was holding the end, and I was holding another end, and then the next thing I knew was tt-it broke.I placed my books on the chair, and then when it's lunch time, he just placed my books on the floor and took the chair away, that's okay.And after sometime, he walked past my books and I realised tt some of my books were not in place.I glared at him, couldn't I even do tt?He said"wad?nt happy is it?see see see!"Then he hit me on my arms for a few times, I said"it's okay, I will tolerate."He said"tolerate?okay, go on!"He continued hitting.Just as he wants to walk away, I had grabbed his shirt,I stood up.And he went shouting for help.I said"stop disturbing me, and stop hitting me!"While I grabbed his shirt.He reached for the nearest umbrella and whacked me with it for a few times.I stood there like a statue, not moving,hoping tt he would stop and walk away.He didn't, he continued,and I held onto the umbrella tightly.He managed to get the umbrella off my hands, and he decided to play tricks on me,he appeared to be going to whack me again, but in actual fact, he didn't.My reaction was to use my arms to fend myself.He said"scared is it?aiyo, scaredy cat."I managed to grab hold of the umbrella and I was holding onto the end of the umbrella, while my brother was holding onto the other end of it.And it broke.I walked back to my seat and sat down, he took the umbrella to show it to Mom, saying-see?look at the umbrella, she broke it,it wasn't just my fault, it's also her fault.I said"that idiot" to my elder brother.He just couldn't wait to hear Mom scolding me, how eager he was.Sigh.. he didn't have a chance to sit down to watch a show.My Mom didn't scold me.

I don't know if I am starting to miss the coincidences, and him.Maybe I would go to sleep, having wonderful dreams, letting my imagination run wild.Just kidding.

Loving blue, it gives me a wonderful feeling.