I thought..
Yesterday was upset about few things. Firstly, after dinner, all my family members left the dining room to watch television, except for my younger brother, he was still eating. They left the plastic bags, the plates on the table. I just said to my younger brother" remember to place your bowl into the basin later."He immediately scolded me"N. B.., WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! I AM NOT A THREE YEAR OLD KID OKAY?! STOP TELLING ME TO DO THIS AND THAT! I KNOW WHAT TO DO AND I KNOW THAT I HAVE TO PLACE IT IN THE BASIN!" I just kept quiet, listened to what he said and said"I am just reminding you to place it in the basin, because in the past, you would just leave it on the table waiting for someone to help you with it."He said"I KNOW WHAT TO DO! YOU DON'T HAVE TO REMIND ME!" After eating his dinner, he did what he was supposed to do and switched off the lights and fan before walking away. I shouted for mom and she asked him what happened. He said that I started it first. I have to clear the table so I switched on everything and started placing them together before I bring them into the kitchen while wiping my tears.The reason I cried was because the words he used on me were really harsh, especially the word N.B. After that, I went to the room which my mom was at, and complained to her" just now, didi scolded me using a vulgar word." Then, she asked me"why?" I said"it's because I asked him to place his bowl into the basin and...and.." Before even completing my sentence, I started to be a crybaby again. My mom laughed and said"why let him agitate you? Once someone agitates you, you can't stand it." I really agree with her.

I won't mention the other things which upset me.

Yesterday, went into friendster, and sent messages to my friends.It was really lame.Do you know that? How am I going to find my kindergarten friends back? But I think that it's worth a try.

Anger, Frustration, irritation, worries, sadness. That's all I have got. Don't misunderstood me, I am not scolding anyone, just myself okay? Some close friends seem to be agitating me by doing something, I don't know if that is the case, but I just know that I am really very upset with myself. Please don't ask me what is wrong with me nowadays. At first, I asked J if she wants to go out with me, and in the end, I told her that I don't have money, so I can't go out with her. And I felt bad after thinking back what I said, and told myself that I have to get a job in order to earn money to go out.But after a second thought, she might not even be willing to go out with me, she might not even wants to go out with me. It's kinda obvious actually, when I asked her if she wants to go out with me, she asked another person to come along, and even changed the date to another date just to suit the person's time.It's either she tried to agitate me or she is starting to dislike me or she means no harm. Whatever the conclusion is, I am upset with myself.

Really..