Don't ever..(re-edited)
Don't break your promise.You had agreed to tell me on your birthday.Jasmine!!Too late, you can't go back on your words.Hehe.

Lost sleep, not because of Jasmine, haha.I don't know why but I just know tt I couldn't let my mind relax.Slept at around 11 plus, but ended up sleeping at only around 12 plus I think.And I had dreams, and later on heard thunders and saw the flashings of lightnings.Frankly speaking, I am afraid, haha, it was loud and I didn't dare move myself, I hugged my pillow tight, I feared tt if I moved myself, there might be another thunder.Any idea wad I told myself?"calm down, calm down."Lol.First time round last night, my Mom covered me with a blanket, but I kicked it off after sometime, as I felt warm.Second time was when she entered my room again, she saw me not covered with blanket and decided to do tt again.This time, I decided not to kick the blanket off, instead I beared with the heat.I actually felt relieved tt I did tt, when it rained, as I wouldn't get up to cover myself with a blanket.I forced myself to sleep.Anyway, I woke up at around 11 today, but still restless.

My Mom woke me up, she told me to go out with Dad and her, to NTUC, ..and have lunch.My brothers were already in school for extra lessons.Anyway, they planned to pick them up after having lunch.And I sat on her bed after washing up.I just sat there, and I asked her"do you think I should go out?"And so on..bla bla bla.After much hesitation, I changed my mind and decided to go out, as I was told tt I wouldn't be able to eat my lunch till 4 plus if I don't go out.Not because they want to torture me, it was because they have to do other things before coming back.And I was irritated by my younger brother again, I was told to push the trolley, and he kicked the trolley, disturbed me, stepped on my slippers, and tried tripping me.I told him patiently not to do tt, and he just..Well, recently, I have been giving in to him, telling him patiently not to do this and that before I really blow my top.Too bad, he is just too stubborn.And my Mom always told me to keep an eye on the trolley, push the trolley, I complained to her about my younger brother, but she just walked away to buy other groceries.Then I turned to my brother, he was smiling at me.Wad could I do?I could only stare at him.A lady saw him really playful, and she placed her hand on my shoulders, saying"it's okay, just give in to him."

My Mom told me to help her with her hair.I mean she has dry skin, so she told me to help her with her hair.And I refused to, she asked for several times, but I still refused.And just now, I wanted to eat the peanuts which she has bought, and she said"no, don't touch it."And I asked her why, and she said"it belongs to me."Then, my younger brother said"who asked you to refuse to help her?"And I said"I wouldn't help that kind of person."I said tt in a fit of anger.I have my own mind, can't I even say no?Why?Sometimes, I really don't know wad to tell her, or how to vent my anger, she really doesn't understands me.I watched a show earlier on, and an actress in the show said tt a son is always better than a daughter, parents could rely on their sons in future.And I was like.."sigh.. is tt true?a daughter isn't good at all?how come?am I really tt useless in my mom's eyes?Shouldn't be here at all, just an extra here."Well, my Dad is really nice, he always gives in to me, and always tries to help me, and buys me snacks.Like he really understands me.He is not at all bias, I am not saying tt my Mom is bias, I just mean tt they should be like this.And some incidents or should I say some words which my Mom said to me in the past somehow hurt me, and made me lose confidence, made me doubt my own abilities, made me feel hurt.Example, I didn't even dare to sing in front of her, I fear tt she might bring me down.I listened to music and sang to myself, or even sang in my heart so tt she wouldn't hear me.So tt she wouldn't say something not very nice and made me feel sad, and in the end, I would be crying to myself to sleep.I started loving music as I realised tt music is the one which understands me.I don't dare to sing in front of her..I don't dare..really don't dare.If people comment about tt, I would feel sad but if compared to my mom's comments, I would feel even hurt.From the year she said tt, I remembered tt sentence till now.I always tell myself to achieve better results in school, to show her tt I am not tt useless, to prove to her tt I could be good in something.But, I just feel tt she thinks I am still tt useless.